Mely’s Birthday 30th!

Wow, what a great weekend in the Black Mountains we had … i’ll be getting some photo’s up online later today to show the debauchery and general mess that we all ended up in. We rented two massive barns between Sugarloaf Mountain and Table Mountain. Sourrounded with really beautiful countryside and not a soul to bother whilst we partied the weekend away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELY!!

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Pipex Homecall

Just a quick note for anyone looking for a review of Pipex Homecall “8MB” broadband.

Avoid like the plague … that’s it, that’s all you need to know. Utter fucking rubbish, there Hoffy stuff that in your pipex and smoke it.

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Government spooks helped Microsoft build Vista

By Nick Farrell: Tuesday 09 January 2007, 14:26

THE USA GOVERNMENT’S cryptologic organisation, the National Security Agency, has admitted that it is behind some of the security changes to Microsoft’s operating system Vista.

According to the Washington Post, the agency which was once so secret that it was jokingly referred to as ‘No such Agency’ has admitted making ‘unspecified contributions’ to Vista.

Tony Sager, the NSA’s chief of vulnerability analysis and operations group, told the Post that it was the agency’s intention to help everyone these days.

The NSA used a red and a blue team to pull apart the software. The red team posed as “the determined, technically competent adversary” to disrupt, corrupt or steal information. The Blue team helped Defense Department system administrators with Vista’s configuration.

Vole said that it has sought help from the NSA over the last four years. Apparently its skills can be seen in the Windows XP consumer version and the Windows Server 2003 for corporate customers.

The assistance is at the US taxpayers’ expense, although the NSA says it all makes perfect sense. Not only is the NSA protecting United States business, its own Defense Department uses VoleWare so it is in the government’s interest to make sure it is as secure as possible.

Microsoft is not the only one to tap the spooks. Apple, with its Mac OSX operating system, and Novell with its SUSE Linux also asked the NSA what it thought of their products. The NSA is quite good at finding weapons of mass destruction that are not there.

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GO GO GO, Actually DON’T!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6243459.stm

the same day they a carpet bombing civilians in Somalia …

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6243395.stm

“In February 2001, the US nuclear submarine Greenville sank a Japanese fisheries training vessel, the Ehime Maru, off Hawaii, killing nine sailors on the fishing boat.”

“i’m driving!”

“No its my turn!”

“Give me the stick! Captain said so!”

“NO that opens the hatch you fuckwit!, the steering wheels is over there!”

“FUCK”

CLANG …

HAHA!!!

Team America FUCK YEAH!!!!

Me? Anti-American … nope, i’m not, i’m anti outrageous fucking stupidity it just so happens that America is a consummate expert at looking really fucking stupid whilst also pissing off the entire planet at the same time.

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Bushwhack

How can this asshole stand up and claim to be working for peace and christian (small c) values and in the same breath say that he wished Saddam’s execution had been more dignified … I mean … where the fuck do you start with that one?

All these religions involved say that murder is wrong … don’t they?

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eeek! – Bristol International Skid Pan

EasyJet announces that it has cancelled all flights to and from Bristol International Airport this morning following concerns over the reliability of the newly resurfaced runway in wet weather conditions.

The safety of its passengers, crew and aircraft is easyJet’s first priority and this decision has been taken following extensive discussions with Bristol International Airport and the UK Civil Aviation Authority.

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Saddamned

Never thought we’d be seeing pictures like that! Also, i’m a little confused over how quickly this appears to have happened! Call me a cynic but this state-execution is wrong on so many levels I don’t know where to start. Whatever your stance on capital punishment may be these pictures are totally unnecessary.

Psy-Ops maybe?

Either way there is no denying that this is destruction of evidence.
Surely Saddam is a key witness to so many things (Oil for money for
instance) that he should be available to question. As it is he has been
destroyed off the back for 148 deaths which strikes me as being the tip
of the iceberg …

Madness …

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why being a scientist …

… is bad for you … you end up writing things like this comforted by the thought of how ‘entertaining’ you are …

ENGINEERS TAKE THE FUN OUT OF CHRISTMAS

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second at an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, which comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least 1 good child in each. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them, Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance – this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the timeSanta reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now.

Merry Christmas.

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